A Victory for Love?

Today’s Supreme Court decision legalizing gay marriage in all 50 states has been proclaimed a “victory for love”. While I am a huge proponent of love and believe in love, I don’t believe this is a victory for love. The LGBT community heaps vitriol and condemnation and threatened lawsuits on religious Americans who hold deep convictions in the sanctity of marriage as being between a man and woman. They don’t extend the same “love” as they have demanded over the years.

I strongly object to being labeled a “fear mongering hater” and a “bigot” and being accused of “hiding behind the Bible and my religion” because I truly, honestly believe marriage was designed for a man and woman. As a spiritual person, who believes in God and the Bible, I follow what I believe are God’s precepts for life. Do I always follow through? No, as a human being I fail and I sin but I still endeavor to do what I believe God wants me to do. I don’t pick and choose which rules to obey, I don’t single out Bible verses to follow while ignoring others. As a Christian person I love all people and accept all people but that doesn’t mean I have to agree or condone their choices in life.

As an example–my niece is a gay woman and a few years ago held a commitment ceremony (in lieu of marriage) with her partner. I chose not to attend although I love my niece dearly. When I visited her, I enjoyed my time with her and her partner who was a lovely, intelligent woman. It didn’t mean I condoned their lifestyle–it meant I loved my niece.

Non-believers will toss around the passage from John 8 where a woman is caught in the act of adultery and is dragged to the town square to be stoned for her offense. The crowd asks Jesus what should be done with her and Jesus looks at them and says, “Whoever is without sin cast the first stone.” Of course no one could, with a clear conscience, throw a rock at her and the crowd dispersed. But, this wasn’t the end of the story. Jesus looks at the woman and asks her, “Where are your accusers? Who condemns you?” She answers, “No one.” Jesus lifts her to her feet and says, “Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more.” Those last five words are key. Jesus loved the woman, he accepted her as a human being but he recognized her sin and told her, “Go and sin no more.”

As Christians, we believe if we reject what God says then we are legitimizing the very things he condemns. And yes, there are all kinds of sin–adultery, fornication, stealing, murder, envy, hatred, gluttony, ad infinitum. We are accused of honing in on homosexuality but the fact is, this issue has been thrust into the national spotlight and as citizens of the United States, protected by the First Amendment, we have the right to express our views as well. After all, we vote, we spend money here, we raise our families here, we work here. Yet, the very persons who have resounded and screamed for their rights would deny us the very rights they fight for.

A friend of mine from college, who is a film producer in the LGBT community, wrote an article for the Huffington Post accusing Christians of “hiding behind the Bible” as a way of saying our views and thoughts and deeply held beliefs are not valid. I don’t hide behind the Bible–I believe in the Bible, I believe in God and I believe morality doesn’t change even though our culture may. I will continue to live my life following my beliefs while loving and accepting those around me who choose to live their life in the manner they want.



2 thoughts on “A Victory for Love?

  1. I agree with you that the central issue isn’t love, even though love is an adjunct issue. Love isn’t the main reason for anyone to certify, or to sanctify a permanent partnership. It’s a matter of witnessing for the public. You and your partner already know your status. Marriage is to place your contractual promise before friends, family and society, to say “This is us. We are commingling our resources.”

    The central issue is equal treatment under civil law. That’s what the Supreme Court ruled on. If you believe marriage was meant only for a man and a woman, you are still free to practice that belief. It just no longer will extend to all other consenting adults in the USA, whether Christian, religious, spiritual or non-religious – as far as the state is concerned.

    I am truly sorry if you’ve had to bear ill will from others over your choice of beliefs. You would never get that kind of judgment or impolite behavior from me, despite our disagreements. We are living in a time of increased incivility and polarization, and I greatly regret that it extends into not only religion but politics, law, even things like housing and employment. I don’t know how to solve that except to not practice it in my own life.

    • Thank you for your comments. I have always tried to extend courtesy and respect to everyone despite their beliefs or life choices. I had a very dear friend, a gay man, who died in the 1980s from AIDS. While I did not agree with his life choice, I respected his right to make that choice. I agree we are living in a time of increased incivility and polarization. Each person is looking out for their own rights but wants to deny the same to others. The only way to solve this issue is to extend kindness and respect to all people with no animosity regarding their choices.

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